Ah, behold the marvels of modern virtue signaling! Behold, mere mortals, the majestic presence of Signals of Virtue, the mythical beings who soar above us, not on wings of angels, but on the sanctimonious gusts of self-righteousness! They proudly proclaim their status as the only net zero rock pop karaoke band in existence, as if the very heavens part to bestow upon them a celestial crown of eco-consciousness!
For over a decade, they have graced stages with their carbon-free performances, ensuring that not even a solitary whisper of CO2 dares escape their pristine presence. Oh, the sacrifices they must make! The gallons of organic, locally sourced sweat they must exude to maintain such purity! Truly, they are the modern-day saints of the karaoke circuit, martyrs to the cause of environmentalism!
And lo, amidst the cacophony of recycled melodies and sustainably sourced guitar riffs, there emerges a figure from the mists of time itself. Behold Cromo, the Neanderthal man, whose furrowed brow and primitive grunts serve as a stark reminder of our humble origins. With a crude club in hand and a look of befuddlement upon his rugged visage, Cromo raises his gaze to Signals of Virtue and utters a guttural cry of gratitude:
"Cromo thank Signals for not make sky angry with smoke! Signals good! Signals save air for Cromo and Cromo tribe! Cromo dance to carbon-free rock pop karaoke and feel light, like bird in sky! Signals heroes of Cromo tribe!"
Truly, in the annals of history, let it be known that Signals of Virtue shall reign supreme as the paragons of performative environmentalism, while Cromo and his kin shall forever dance in their honor, grateful for the oxygen-rich atmosphere that allows them to continue their primitive existence.
Ah, brace yourselves for the saga of Signals of Virtue, the eco-warriors extraordinaire, whose noble quest for environmental salvation takes a turn for the explosive! In their fervent crusade against the carbon-spewing monstrosity that is Hollywood, they unveil a solution so radical, so audacious, that it makes even Cromo raise his Neanderthal brow in astonishment.
Picture this: amidst the glitz and glamour of the Hollywood Hills, where celebrities frolic in their mansions of excess, Signals of Virtue emerge as the unlikely champions of Mother Earth. Armed not with eco-friendly wands, but with the raw power of nuclear weapons, they stand ready to obliterate the epicenter of extravagance in one fell swoop!
Yes, you heard it right, folks! With a flick of the nuclear switch and a chorus of eco-friendly chants, Signals of Virtue aim to vaporize Hollywood into oblivion, reducing its carbon footprint to nothing more than a radioactive puff of smoke! Oh, the irony! Oh, the audacity! To think that the key to combating climate change lies in the fiery inferno of nuclear Armageddon!
But fear not, for Signals of Virtue assure us that this is no mere act of destruction, but a bold stroke of environmental justice! With Hollywood reduced to a smoldering crater, they envision a world free from the clutches of celebrity excess, where the air is as pure as the fallout from a nuclear blast.
And so, as the mushroom clouds rise and the earth trembles beneath their feet, Signals of Virtue march triumphantly into the radioactive sunset, secure in the knowledge that they have struck a blow for Mother Earth. Whether their nuclear gambit brings about the end of climate change or simply ushers in a new era of radioactive wasteland remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: Cromo and his tribe will have front-row seats to the greatest show on Earth, courtesy of Signals of Virtue and their explosive brand of environmentalism!